Beads, plans, lame.

Okaiiden..
I GOT MY BRACELET FROM JC TODAYYYYYY.
I've been patient all week.
:3
I didn't see him today, so I couldn't give him the ones I've made for him..
Tomorrow?

I wish I had something good to write in here, but honestly, everything is kind of boring lately.
Even though it's not supposed to be.

Friday I'm staying after school, Saturday well..school stuff, Sunday is free, next friday I have my Motley Crue concert, April 30th is the AP Tour.
Sounds exciting, and I am excited.
But, not?
Make any sence?
I don't knowwww, pms probably.
Stupid crap every month makes me feel so numb. D:

I swear, my stomach is shrinking.
I can't even eat toast without feeling full.
Blech.

Oh, in study hall I wrote a note that's over a page long to John* (Yes, name has been changed)
Had to clear some things up.
:\

Nothing to say....
Why are things so lame.
:(

Great.

No Taste of Chaos tour.
Seeing as;
I can't drive.
Mom won't go on Mapquest and look up directions.
Pete is working.
Sam's parents won't drive us.

Lame.
This gets me so angry.
It's as if every time I ask to go somewhere, there is always a complication.
God.

-shreds everything in path-

Oh, honey. You're just skin and bones!

Whoever invented Thinspiration- is an idiot.
teaching BEAUTIFUL girls to hate themselves?
Hate their bodies?
Fear even the thought of food?

I'm trying so hard to be there for Sandra*, I hope I'm showing her I care.
I hope she knows I wish I could do anything to stop the hurt and fear.
I wish I could take away all the bad for her, and put it on myself so she has nothing to worry about.

* = Name changed.

Questions? What are those....

FAQs


How are you?
- Ehm, fine..thanks.
What is your favourite colour?
-Yellow.
But I like most colours. :)
What do you like to eat/drink?
-I live off of orange juice, water, and sometimes Chai tea.
I don't drink much else.
Um..I eat food?
Nothing that once had a face or pulse, though.
When did you decide to become a vegetarian?
-Well, for a really long time.
I remember crying to my dad when I was seven about it.
He said no and made me eat a cheese burger.
I've been a vegetarian for awhile though, when I move out I plan on becoming a vegan.
:)
Woo.
Are you straight?
-Funny you should ask that.
No, I'm not.
I'm not straight, bi, gay, or whatever.
I'm not sure what I am just yet, and I refuse to ever put a label on my sexuality.
I can't walk around saying I JUST like guys or I JUST like girls or I JUST like transsexuals.
But yeah, one day I plan on making out with a drag queen/king.
Wow, I can't believe I'm actually going to post this..
What is your biggest fear?
-Defiantly losing loved ones (not as in death- but emotionally), or what happens after death, or listening to myself when I know it's wrong.
Do you believe in God?
-Er.
No.
I'm not sure what I believe in.
I do think there is *something* out there, maybe not God, or anything like that.
I just don't worry about it much.
Just, don't shove your religion down my throat, and I won't shove mine.
I do believe in Karma and Reincarnation, to an extent.
What do you want to be when you're older?
-Dental Hygienist and Photographer. :D
What makes you cry?
-Almost anything can get me to cry.
It's like my emotions are connected to my tear ducts.
(Watching Sober House is probably the most pathetic reasons, but it's true.)
Who is your hero?
-I don't really have a "hero", but I look up to people.
KrisKid, Thomas, Maya, and Vivian.
What is your sin out of the seven?
-Envy.
Hands down, you should know that by now.
What is the scariest thing you have done or almost done?
-I almost shoved my finger down my throat many times.
I've been fighting with the thought of starving myself, or puking after every meal.
I'm getting better, and I haven't done anything yet.
It scares me to death that I actually made a whole PLAN.
But, I'm okay.
:)

To be continued....

Oh Haii Thar, Mr. Trend.

So it seems as if blogs have become a trend.
I've had one a long time ago, lost the pass to it....
Anyway, giving into the trend.
Maybe it would be easier, because I'm online a lot of the time.
Then I could just copy some of this into my journal.
(Yes, you know those notebooks where you actually write words into.)

I know I'm going to fight with myself over details.
(I'm a closed off person)
But, I'm going to try to vent out everything here.
I will change names to protect the person's personal life.
Kai?

Note: Try Chik'n Nuggets by Morning Star.
They are delicious, and not made out of real chicken.
Win win situation, I'd say.